Thursday, October 13, 2005


OK, I can deal with people liking ponchos--it's fine, really. To each their own. But...this whole "Martha Stewart Poncho" thing has GOT TO STOP.

Let's think about this, ok? A woman breaks the law and, in one of the few times I think justice is being served (albeit lightly, but hey, she didn't murder anyone or anything), she goes to jail. Fine. She serves her (short) time, while her media empire bravely chugs along without her (sniff sniff sniffle) and then, when she leaves jail, she is seen wearing a...a PONCHO. That another inmate made for her.

The knitting/crocheting/textile crafting world goes CRAZY. I mean it. Every major yarn brand creates a version of THE PONCHO. They call it clever things like the "Going Home" poncho (now for dogs, too!), the "Home Again" poncho. I'm waiting to see a "Free at LAST" poncho. Don't laugh--it'll happen. Mark my words. Even Lily Chin, a lady whom I admire and usually respect, has created a version.

NO, people! NO! Why do you do this? Martha wasn't wrongfully incarcerated, or held hostage, or heck, she wasn't even innocent. She did a crime, did her time, and manipulated every single one of you poncho-knittin'/crochetin'/whateverin' people into believing that you were bereft without her and couldn't find your way in the dark, dark months that she was gone and OMG SHE'S BACK AND SHE LOOKS FABULOUS!!!

Or maybe you WERE bereft, and really, that's just sad. Feel bereft when your grandma dies, or when your dog runs away, or when your brother moves across the country. Want to celebrate/glamorize the return or coming home of someone? Knit or crochet something in red, white, and blue when the servicemen come home alive.

Do I hate Martha Stewart? No. I've been known to pick up her magazine from time to time. I have thought, 'hey, that's a good idea' on occasion. But honestly, people. I hate the poncho. I hate the spin and I hate the glamour around it. Let the poncho die.

Godsdammit. I was GOING to write about my life recently, the fact that my new job and its hours have turned my life upside down and the fact that today is my FOURTH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY with the always awesome (if dish-washing-deficient) CGod. ;) But NOOO, I have to see Martha Stewart's show auctioning off A WHOLE SLEW of ponchos in some of the ugliest yarn I've ever had the misfortune to lay eyes upon.

Thanks, Lion Brand. Whoo.